


Then, Now; Everyday.

by CountlessUntruths (KaliCephirot)



Category: X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Established Relationship, Healing, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-07
Updated: 2008-05-07
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13065768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaliCephirot/pseuds/CountlessUntruths
Summary: It's one ofthosedays, Keiichi can tell.





	Then, Now; Everyday.

**Author's Note:**

> This goes in a timeline where the seals end up winning.

**Then, Now; Everyday.**

It's one of _those_ days, Keiichi can tell. It's easy, if you know Kamui as well as he does, to realize why _those_ days deserve a different category than 'everyday' or even 'the bad days'. It had taken him a while to realize it, but by know, just by the way Kamui wakes up, he knows.

Everyday is easy and, thankfully, it happens, well. Just about always. It hadn't been like that, the first two years. Back then, 'everyday' meant hurt and pain and Kamui broken. It meant having to phone Arizugawa-senpai more often than not so that he could help him calm Kamui and watching from the sides because at first, he hadn't known. It meant having Kamui almost absent for most of the day. It meant that sometimes Kamui would stay out all night and Keiichi would see him talking with the shadows, and catch the flick of a cigarette. It meant Kamui with insomnia and sometimes crying, hurt and ypset. It meant Kamui having nightmares and having to hug him tight as he sobbed through his dreams.

Now, everyday means waking up to find that Kamui is still sleeping, curled on his side, breathing in and out slowly, no nightmares to labor his breathing, face pale and not blotchy with tears. He's warm and pleasant and sometimes Keiichi wants nothing more than to go back to sleep himself, curl an arm around Kamui and press close to him, breath in and out with him, but he only allows himself that during weekends.

Usually, after a moment of silent contemplation he wakes up and goes to get ready first and to start making breakfast. He stays silent for about half an hour before he starts singing – loudly and out of key: he has never been good at music – whichever new popular song comes from the radio. After five minutes, more or less, he hears the shower start, and Kamui will do his best to boil himself alive for other five minutes inside there.

When he comes out, he'll still be sleepy – he was never the best student but he wants to be a veterinary, which means long studying hours bent over books – but Kamui smiles at him as he offers him a cup of coffee, and when he kisses him, Kamui smile feels good against his lips.

Kamui always insists on picking up after breakfast: he has more time than Keiichi, who has to be at the station at 8:00 am sharp while his first class is not until 9:00 am. Keiichi leaves with another kiss and an almost playful roll of Kamui's eyes, and then he whistles all the way to the station, happier than he ever thought he would be.

Everyday in this aspect of not-with-Kamui means helping others, which he loves and wouldn't change for anything at all. Tokyo is still healing, after all, still injured but doing its best to get better. Sometimes his shift lasts far too long and sometimes, even when he's exhausted, Keiichi thinks he could still do more. Kamui, at least, understands this, whenever it happens, and never asks him to choose (which he wouldn't have to, because Keiichi would, of course, choose him). Kamui sometimes looks at the repairs and he seems wounded, and though Keiichi knows why, he can't seem to find a way to tell Kamui that those are not important, that he should look at the way children laugh, or the way birds have filled the sky again.

Keiichi lives for their everyday – or even the special everyday, when Arizugawa-senpai and his wife will come to visit, or when Kamui gets a phonecall fromo Yuzuriha-chan, or when they go out to the movies or for dinner. - day after day lifts a little more of the shadows that had been wrapped so tightly about him, when the world didn't end, when he survived. Little by little it makes Kamui realize that it's okay for him to be alive.

One of _those_ days, however, is a little different. It's not quite one of the bad days. Kamui still gets those and sometimes Keiichi comes home to a dark house and Kamui quiet and sad, heartbreakingly so, or sometimes so angry that he doesn't seem to know what to do with that.

One of _those_ days is, sometimes, a birthday, or sometimes it's triggered by something that the Monou siblings would have liked. One of those days is when Kamui mourns for Aoki-san and Kasumi-san, or sometimes it's just a comment said at the wrong time. They usually involve Sumeragi-san, too, in which more often than note, Kamui will come back with his clothes smelling of smoke and cherry blossoms and regret will make him look more fragile than he really is.

Keiichi can tell just from the moment he woke up that it's promising to be one of those days because Kamui is already up, sitting by the window of their room, looking outside, their cat on Kamui's lap. The sky is a dull gray that promises rain, and Keiichi doesn't look forwards about getting soaking wet, if it starts to rain.

Keiichi sighs a little as he sits down. Kamui's expression is withdrawn and a little bit haunted, and since it's not a birthday, he wonders what Kamui dreamed, what he saw, knowing better than to ask just know. By tomorrow, Kamui will go back to their everyday and he'll tell him.

He's walking to the door when Kamui speaks.

“Stay?”

Keiichi blinks and turns to look towards the other young man. Kamui is still looking towards the window, but there's a small movement of his head, as if he wanted to look at him but at the same time he didn't dare and Keiichi blinks: it's the first time that in one of those days, Kamui acknowledges him. Usually, he'll go towards one of the remaining dragons, go for Sumeragui-san, go outside. It's only when he comes back that he clings to him, and it's only then that Keiichi can hold him, muttering soft nothings just to help him fall asleep.

By the way Kamui tenses, he's expecting a no, so he shakes his head and nods before he can find his voice.

“Are you... I mean, of course I'll stay. Where...”

Some of the stress over Kamui's shoulders goes away with that, and he sees Kamui nod once before he turns his head once more towards the window.

“Just... stay in the house, please?”

Keiichi nods again, even knowing that Kamui can't see him, before he gets close to Kamui, kissing the top of his head before giving him space again, walking out of the room towards the kitchen, still quiet but now with more hope than just five minutes ago.

One day, he's sure, even 'those' days will be a thing of the past.


End file.
